Dear Lilac

Dear Lilac,

 I watch you pass me by every day, nonchalant, indifferent, so unaware of my presence. I look at you from a distance, trying to avoid your eye and not let you catch me catch a glimpse of you, and then again, I slap my forehead, to remind myself that you probably never will, even if I wanted you to, for once.

 I cannot help, but see the two of us, in a different light, in a different scenario, in a happier and more honest place. I see us together, in our sweet little world, so comfortable, happy and satiated in each other’s company, because that is all that we’d ever need. I see us, together, not only sharing the highs of life, but also sticking by each other’s side when the harsh winds blow. I see one of us fall down, and get up again with the support of the hand that shall always be there when the world and times challenge our strength and patience. I see us grow old together, share a drink and a few innocent laughs in memory of the time when we were so unaware that the world could ever blossom into such a wonderful place and so ignorant of our incomplete state of existence without each other.

  As I snap back to reality, I fade into the background again, for you never knew me, never acknowledged my existence and never let me through. I waited, patiently, persistently and painfully, for you to give me just one sign, say just one word or just give me the confidence which I always lacked, with a simple look of your eye. I am scared of your reaction; I know not the desires of your heart or the doubts of your mind. Each time I see you sad, I feel you could do so much better in my arms, where I would protect you from whatever causes you the most miniscule of misery or torment. But I am scared, I am doubtful and I do not wish to take chances with something that is so close to my heart, for even the slightest of disagreement over the issue will cause me to break and bleed until I wish to feel no more, nothing more.

All I can do is watch, and wait, for I am still waiting, for you to give me one hint, one moment, one chance. I have nothing, no concrete foundation to lay my hopes on; nothing to hang by, for your side of the story seems like just an uncertain and unfinished faint hope of my heart. I do not know what you feel, or if you even have the slightest idea about what turbulence these uncertain yet highly passionate thoughts cause in my ocean of emotions. Words seem to escape the wretched clutches of the tongue, and the echoes within my eyes seem to ricochet within their capturing walls, because you fail to see what I truly feel and what I want to say so desperately to you.

I feel so much for you, and have so much to say, if I only knew that you had an exclusive moment for me, which you’d gladly give to me without regretting it. I just need that sign from you, I am just waiting for you.